In my daily Bible reading a few days ago I came across Colossians 4:11. In this rather inconsequential verse, Paul mentions a couple of his friends and says, “these are the only Jews among my fellow workers.” For the first time I realized (though I’m not sure how it eluded me for so long) that Paul never stopped calling himself or other Jewish converts “Jews”. Being a Jew was his heritage and his upbringing.
As I tried to relate this idea to my own life, the only thought I could offer was the age-old addage, “you can take the boy out of Mormonism, but you can’t take the Mormonism out of the boy.” My wife likes to make fun of me that I still pray like a Mormon — not with thee’s and thou’s, but certain of the phrases and words I use. Sometimes I catch myself saying “Lord, I’m grateful that you made it possible for us to return to live with you someday.” The word “return” tends to pop itself in there even though I now believe that we were never in any sort of pre-existence with God.
I think I’ve learned in the last few days not to view my upbringing with contempt, but to appreciate it. To be truthful, I’ve never stopped appreciating it, but for the first time I’ve realized it’s okay for me to do that. I’ve rejected the truth-claims of Mormonism, but the LDS culture will always be a part of who I am.
The question I take away from all of this, though, is this: Since Paul still called himself a Jew, should I start calling myself a Mormon again? How would Mormons react to that? How would Christians react to it?
The last thing I would want to convey is the sense that I’m still trying to hang onto part of Mormonism. I’ve found something so superior to Mormonism that I really don’t desire to return to it. On the other hand I don’t think it would be healthy for anyone to simply cast off their roots. My ancestry will always define who I am, as is true for everyone.
I feel a certain kinship with Paul. I don’t pretend to be nearly as faithful or as wise as he was, but I find so many parallels in his experience and mine. I’ll be posting more about this in the next few days.